~DarkEngel

wishes to change her username :|

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About Me Member Procrastinator DarkEngel20/Female/Romania

Recent Activity Deviant for 3 Years
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troubled sleep

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_{can i get a hell yeah?}

Devious Info

Interests: zombies
Favourite movie: edward scissorhands
Favourite band or musician: http://last.fm/user/engeldolly/
Favourite genre of music: musically confused and perfectly aware of it.
Favourite artist: salvador dali
Favourite poet or writer: mircea cartarescu
Favourite photographer: arno rafael minkkinen
Favourite style of art: surreal
Skin of choice: pale
Favourite game: mario
Favourite cartoon character: lydia,jane lane
Personal Quote: nu

Website: http://gingerbread-coffin.blogspot.com/

pulling the plug

Wed Aug 19, 2009, 3:26 PM

_{well it's time to move on and leave the past behind because form what i've seen it just doesn't make me happy at all remembering or trying to remember. the past has it's good sides of course and i'm not talking about very far away, i'm talking about the past year. it's been good and bad but overall overwhelming. i just can't shake the feeling that somehow i missed out on so many crucial aspects that deserved a little more attention that what was granted. i changed a lot, that's for sure, but what i don't like is that change was something i didn't wanna see at that time. so many things were happening, so many doors were opening and so many other closing that i just closed my eyes and took everything for granted. i use to pull the plug on myself back then. i was too busy or maybe too afraid to have a real confrontation with myself, the one i was becoming right there and then. now things aren't so hectic and i guess i have no excuse but to settle down and sleep on everything that's been going on. it's a bit frustrating and very unlike myself to have to deal with the finished product. just the finished product. it's scary to find myself in one place and have no idea how i got there. i don't wanna pull the plug. i wanna be there when it happens.

personal statements out in the open isn't something i do that often but i felt like i had this partially heavy weight on my shoulders and deviantart felt like the right place to drop everything (almost).

i also don't wanna leave the impression that i'm not content. this journal, unlike my last, is a positive one.}

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